{ Yiayia, me, Shannon }
Sometimes I reminisce the good ol’ days of my kitchen being under my sole control. As a single mom, I was always so grateful my daughter was an agreeable little tot when it came to meals. Before I even embarked on all of this dietary experimentation years back, I was always pretty conscious of food and kept a relatively healthy pantry.
Fast-forward to August 2006. I got married and gained an instant household of five – my husband, George; stepdaughter, Shannon (now 19); stepson, Shane (now 22); and my daughter, Ciarra (now 14). And as of a year ago, the addition of my 83 year-old mother-in-law who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease (Evangeline a/k/a Yiayia – Greek for “grandma”). Now enter all the different tastes, appetites, requirements, and habits and the kitchen I once kept is now more like the wild wild west.
Do you feel like the lone ranger in your household when it comes to your dietary interests? This doesn’t have to pertain strictly to a raw food diet, it could be a matter of just cutting back on red meat and increasing whole foods, fruits, and vegetables. To whatever the degree, your desire is that you and your family eat better, more consciously, more healthfully. And for this, you deserve a big pat on the back! Because this isn’t always easy, especially if you’re struggling with familial support.
Although I’m fortunate that my family is very supportive to my raw and natural food ways, it doesn’t mean they want to always eat like me. So herein comes the challenge. I feel it’s ultimately my duty as a wife and mother to be an example, to educate, and achieve the fine balance of uniting us all, along with our individual relationships with food.
Here are some suggestions, in no particular order, from my personal experience over these past few years of newlywed-dom, on preparing meals for a family of six while keeping with my own journey.
1. Be consistent. If you have children, then you know that consistency in everything you do as a parent is key. The same applies with expressing your dietary self. In other words, as resistant as your husband may be to trying that green juice you just made, or as weird as your mother might think you are for cracking open coconuts and drinking the water, the more you do it will greatly increase acceptance. Yes, you may have to shake off some weird faces or churlish remarks. But with consistency, your choices will ultimately arouse curiosity. And from curiosity, questions can be asked and answered, and eventually a level of comfort can be established. Ciarra cringed over the sight of me making green juice for two years until a couple of months ago when she began requesting that I make her one too.
2. But be an example, not preachy or forceful. Food is a very personal element to each of us, and everyone has a unique relationship with food (as my friend Earthmother wrote about brilliantly in a recent blog post). Therefore, in addition to being consistent, it’s important to not to impose too strongly onto others, or make dramatic changes overnight with the meals your family is used to. With your enthusiasm about your new found diet and knowledge, it’s easy to want to stand up on a soapbox to your loved ones and do an extreme kitchen makeover with all good intentions. You’re lucky if you’re met with open arms, but more commonly it’s the squint eye. Teach by just doing your thing. Let them open the door and ask the questions.
3. Come together for home meals as much as possible. Now with work and school and our modern hectic schedules, this can be challenging in itself! And if you’re the one preparing meals and have a full time job, the last thing you may want to do is come home and cook. But there’s another component to rather than just eating. Food brings us together, and for many families this is the only time of day where everyone can unite, bond, and share what is going on in our lives. Take advantage of it, no matter if you are struggling with time, or better options to bring to the table. The idea is the practice, the routine, the regularity. It does take some planning. But with practice, you’ll get better with planning. Maybe initially you can only manage once or twice a week. I keep a notebook, and usually take time each weekend to plan meals and a grocery list for the following week. My family absolutely loves it when I make dinner, not for just the food itself, but for the experience of a home-cooked meal at our own dinner table. This is invaluable.
4. Always prepare food with love. This is a fundamental rule in preparing any kind of meal for yourself or anyone! It’s a vital ingredient that makes all the difference. Putting your loving consciousness, time, and energy into food has a magical effect on those who will enjoy it. It may not even be their favorite thing. But love tastes better than any herb or spice you can buy.
5. Appeal to all the senses. I always say that the culinary arts is really the perfect alchemy. It is an art form and sensory experience that involves all five physical senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and sound – yes, sound (think crunchy). When you use love, creativity, and consciousness to execute each of these sensory experiences in the food you make, it will straight away be many times more appealing. For example, something as simple as a chopped green parsley garnish sprinkled all over makes the sight of a dish more alive.
6. Combine raw and natural foods with cooked food. Not only does this balance make for a more healthy, wholesome meal, it enhances digestibility, and even looks more visually appealing. A typical dinner at the Kalivretenos house may go something like this: spinach linguine puttanesca with a fennel, arugula, and orange salad; grilled rosemary and garlic seiten skewers, vegetable orzo, and a greek salad; semi-raw tacos with all the fixins (semi-raw, because everyone loves my walnut-cremini filling, but prefer store-bought taco shells instead of raw corn tortillas).
7. Focus on what works. During the rest of the day before dinner, I can eat anything I want. I can focus on all my “weird” raw food concoctions. But everyone is not down for raw zucchini pasta for dinner. However, when it comes to raw desserts, they quickly become scarce soon after I make them. And with all the sweet-teeth living in this house, it’s a blessing! When you’re taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s disease, you may not have the same person from one day to the next. Yiayia can be very fickle with food, and would much prefer to eat junk above all else, but her very favorite thing lately is when I make her raw chocolate pudding. Of course, she doesn’t realize it’s actually good for her. And to points 3, 4, and 5 – she does a lot better with meals and actually eats more when I make dinner.
I would love to hear your suggestions or tips. How do you manage eating raw, or otherwise, with your family’s different diet personalities?
<3, JMK
